I, too, want a viking funeral

My secret shame (just one?) is that I have become a devotee (when I happen to be driving at that time of night, which is rare, since I try to make sure I get sixteen hours of sleep) of Michael Savage's effed-up rants and raves.

"Bring up the Cuban music!" he shouts. And he's the kind of windbag who can tell a caller (before he cuts said caller off, mid-sentence) that he knows the exact last two places to get good "red sauce Italian food" in Vegas. Do ya?

He reminds me of the old Ed Anger column in the Weekly World News.

I'm not endorsing him in the least, just saying his off-the-wall hatey banalities make me chuckle.

The other week, for instance, in a bag-pipe drenched soliloquy on the police who were killed in Oakland (remember this?), he carried on at length about what a mess it was, then, apropos of nada, he says "I want a viking funeral."

I did not know (somehow) that a viking funeral was a real, bona fide thing (this, again, probably because I was raised sans cable so have never seen Legend or whatever...though I did indeed have a 45 of Bryan Ferry's theme from same)! One puts the deceased in a ship, pushes ship to sea then shoots flaming arrows into it! Ta-dah!: Viking funeral!

I want one, too! It would be a mite too precious to admit that the arrows should be somehow fired by CATS, so I will withold this little tidbit!

Drzunk!

1997! Illinois Ave! I had thick, lustrous hair! Apparently!

I would guess the "flicking v's" thing is some sort of anticipatory stance on the arrival of Be Here Now!

This was sent to me just this morning!

Amazing!

And those are 1989 J Crew swim trunks in "grape" if you are costume director on my biopic!

Happy Easter

You think I'M out there?

Our crap burg has more than its fair share of characters, I think. Lots of people like Michigan Guy, an old dude who one could see most every day wearing his blue and gold U Michigan sweater and matching apple hat. Or the guy who drove around for years with mannequins as passengers. Or Vines. Or Crackhead Phil.

Now, on occasion one sees the van at left, which, it may be hard to tell, has many oddments glued on it; little religious chotchkes (sp, maybe), Ninja Turtle-type plastic shit...and, written in surfaces some sort of chalky paint pen, cryptic quasi-religious messages, which change from time to time.

Last night, on a fool's errand to the local UDF, I was stoked to have the opportunity to see this Mystery Machine up close and at rest...indeed, on leaving, I pulled the long way 'round so as to get a full glance. In the rear window was this:

"Check cartellingwindows.com. A Microsoft rival"

Ha, I thought. Yes, like whoever it is has a web site. See, their car (well, van) windows are their website. Funny.

On arriving home, though, I decided it best to just make sure.

That was when I was plunged into:

http://cartellingwindows.com/

So, now, of course, I'm in some sort of Delillo-esque world where things happen such as "changes in basic states of information," etc.

I can claim I'm going to Wichita for Easter, but who really knows?

Sad, sad, sad

Dog looking for its owner in the Rome earthquake. "Pluto" on his tag.

(AFP/Getty, via Andrew Sullivan)

"...writing songs on your computer"

Yes, as poster of vid noted, this song pwns:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVrZWm8FB5Q

Exactly how petty I am

You know, Nada Surf could be one of my top ten bands, probably, just on the strength of their 2003 LP Let Go. Add to that some select tracks from their other albums and BLAMMO!, one has an 80-minute CD to be reckoned with. Three piece covering "Blue Monday"? Shit yes, sign me up! That crazy not-like-the-rest-of-catalogue "Popular" song? YES!

Somehow, though, I can never really given myself over completely. That teasing "somehow" is a red herring, really - I know exactly why.

I cannot get over the bass player's stupid dreads.

That's how surfacey and petty I can be.

See, I can listen to Let Go without reservations: "Blizzard of '77," "Paper Boat" (best bridge ever!), the mighty "Inside of Love"...this record is strong enough to deflect my dread-derision. But the later, still-good-but-not-overwhelmingly-great albums can't hide the fact that I start thinking about the dumb dreads on that guy. And I'm three quarters serious!

He just looks like he would be in some quasi-reggae/sorta DMB-style band out at Wright State, which is our local college of fairly-okay repute, but sorta used-to-be-a-diploma-mill kinda school. Like the Wright State equivalent wherever you are. You know what I'm talking about. And the band would be called something dumb like "Unabummer." Dude would drive an old Saab with rust all over it and a Death From Above 1979 sticker, but when asked about them, he wouldn't know and just would say he thought the sticker was "cool." ARGH!

Anyway, I do hope these guys get a song on the Shrek 9 OST to get some scratch so they can keep putting out those nice records. And were the dreads to go away, and I could gets some distance on things, I believe that in a couple more really good records they could find themselves safely ensconced in the top ten bands of my favor.

And isn't that what we all want?

(here are some bonus dashes I didn't use above: ---------)