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| A swollen corpse found in the Great Miami river, propped up and made to look like it's playing music using Erector set motors |
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| Chris on electric bass, having escaped an island where Morrissey backup band dudes are farm-raised |
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| Ian, best drummer in most of SW Ohio |
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| Mike, the illegitimate nephew of Quicksilver Messenger Service |
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| A spry kid and his great-grandfather playing a few Batdorf and Rodney numbers |





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