Two names the Voicemail-to-Text function on phone has already called me

1. Daddy
2. Jenny

How it starts

Okay, I understand that, by virtue of my not giving a shit about Angry Birds or something called "blu-ray" [?], I am setting myself up for an inevitable tech senility in the vein of that my parents have and have had since about 1980. I have a Droid, which still gets a "hey! Fancy phone!" from the Nascar-farians I come across at 5:30 weekday afternoons (if this makes no sense to you, well, then, just remember vodka is the last stop!), and, given time, I can puzzle out the occasional odd function on a laptop. And I can blog! Had you noticed?

BUT here is where I truly draw the line in the silicon: electronic cigarettes. Driving across more than a third of this great nation these last two weeks, I have seen many, many advertisments saying "We have electronic cigarettes."

And here's the thing: I care SO very little about this miraculous new product that I can't even work up the interest right now to see just what the hell they are. I know from Dlisted that on some Housewives of...wherever that there was some scene with Kelsey Grammar wife chick yelling at someone about them. But that's about it.

And enough, really!

So, when I dodder along and get scarfed up by some LaserWraith (tm) or some other malevolent scourge six weeks from now, be sure to tell everyone I knew that I died fully on my way to not giving a shit about anything post-Soulseek.

Happily.

Glad I think that Kindles are the spawn of Satan - anew!

NKorea Nears Completion of Electromagnetic Pulse Bomb - ABC News

Why print matters

See, when all print is gone and everything is all Orwellian and stories/news bites/people/events will disappear from human history with a mouse-click.

Wait, that's not a sentence.

But look, here's what I mean:

This pic of Gabe's non-slidey donuts/crop circles we made Saturday morning to celebrate making it up a difficult incline (there was no "whoo-hoo" donut aspect, we just went around in circles to the indifference of tobacco-leaden onlookers [fig 1]):

1.

The g-forces attained making these snow-circles was of such a Moonrakerian intensity that Gabe even popped a blood vessel in his eye! (fig 2)

2.

Wow, right? WRONG. The picture of the eye-trauma was from Friday afternoon, while the snow thing was indeed from Saturday. See how easy it was to make you believe me? Now imagine all that on a grand scale!

Shit's all Capricorn One up in here!

Technology also sucks because:

I love my Droid, I really do - but what genius made the keyboard so that the instant smiley emoticon is next to and twice the size of the period?

I seriously spend ten hours a day deleting erroneously-made "smileys" from texts.

Meanwhile, back in Ludditeville

Someone explain to me: why all the hubbub about the Beatles and iTunes? Everyone should get excited to pay for the Beatles songs for the nth time? Is this great news for the divorced 55 year olds who can't fathom how to, y'know, drag tracks into iTunes? Will there be talk of "you really have to hear 'The Inner Light' in iTunes format...the tablas are amazing..."?

I'm quite serious. I do not understand WHY THIS MATTERS. If it's some bullshit about "lossless" quality or some other nebbish gibberish, maybe that makes sense. But right now, in my external hard drive, I have all the Beatles I could want/need.

WHAT IS THE POINT?

Reports of "pretty grunge" comebacks notwithstanding

The ONLY nice thing about the grunge era (well, besides In Utero) is that scene in Singles where Eddie Vedder and Chris Cornell (maybe?) are putting up flyers and they have a stapler that's like a hammer. They just hold the sheet up to the corkboard or what have you and wham! wham! wham!, the flyer is affixed! Rarely does a quarter-hour pass without my wishing in vein for one of those STAPLERS!

I am writing a pile of "hits" at the moment, but will there really be any point to any of it if I can't find one of these?

I KNOW that all show announcement fanfare takes place on via electric computer now.

Still, place links to one of these in comments, please!

Still do not get Facebook

Firstly, it's nearly over already. Second: if I want to meet up/catch up with someone via random run-in, isn't Brooks Brothers on a Saturday in winter a much better place than cyberspace?