The Bride was putting away laundry, so it was time for a movie on the laptop...there are two ways of going about this: 1) watch a movie you've seen so much that it serves as a background (...Tenenbaums, Godfather Part II, etc) or 2) something sorta super-dumb that you can miss whole minutes of and not be stressed or anything. Well, I think we have a winner in the latter category sweepstakes.I'm not some twit who's going to pretend that he doesn't know that Angelina Jolie is the biggest female movie star out there, but, on thinking about it, I have never seen her IN anything. I mean it! Unless she's in Jesus' Son? She's not? Okay, then I haven't. Er, hadn't.
What can be said of Salt? That it starts with a bra'n'panty clad Ang being beaten by a pod of North Korean torture dudes? That her hair (the blonde phase is absurd) does most of the acting? That I sussed out what the "big reveal" was going to be in the first twelve minutes? That during the car chases and Angie-chases etc, everything is kept to a medium shot because otherwise the viewer would fathom the physical (in the physics sense) impossibility of it all, AND the sad "medium"-ness of the budget?
Needless to say, the whole thing borders on abstraction and is indeed the BEST MOVIE EVER, at least to watch when putting laundry away!
You need detergent, btw.
