Clueless? Pah!

I keep seeing articles online observing the 20th anniversary of Clueless, and now, late summer, we are moving as a people into Kids observances.

Nary an appreciation of Gene's Olympian have I seen, though!  What a terrible world this is.

Item: Journal of Atomic Scientists Sets Doomsday Clock Ahead, Stands at Three Until Midnight

Good!

End of the world? 2

End of the world? 1

Alarming

So your appalling white-power neighbor with the scary dogs can get the kids well into it from the get:

Embarrassing

This is the best show at local amphitheater this summer.  Sigh.

This could be a contest

After 900 years of this blog, I just may not have enough piss and vinegar to tackle my sizable disdain for this.  Perhaps you could.

Poetry

There were two like this, so not accidental

Non- recording-related end of month seeming non-sequiter post

John Ashcroft covering up the boobs o' justice was just about the most asinine thing ever.  I'm sure I can think of another if I try.

Also terrifying as all hell:

The exact moment everything started to suck irrevocably

It was a while back when that obvious jet contrail was panickedly reported by everyone and sundry as a "mystery missile" when anyone could see it was a just contrail at an odd angle, then none of the networks really followed up on it  or on their mistakes because they were embarrassed that, like their viewers, they were all going "guh...owhn...urnt...unt..buh..." all day, every day.

There are all sorts of other other examples, but this is the one!

Take note, future historians, scribbling down late human history while a deer-tallow-in-soup-can candle burns beside you!

D_____: where attention to detial is priority one

Although maybe it IS time to move...

The problem with bumperstickers and vanity plates is that one can put nigh anything on them.

fer instance, could this one mean:

* my car is just too blue for you as well? Or are they certain it will be seen by two people? Or U2 (the band) in a tour bus? "Hey, Larry - check it! They [points] are too blue for us!"

* Speaking of U2, these people could be just too sad to have to listen to "Mysterious Ways" for Nth fucking time? If so, I feel their pain, if I hear that song again I will likely kill someone. Or, god make it no, maybe they are blues musicians, way too "genuine" in their 1-4-5 utter shitness to cover "With or Without You" at some rundown local sportsbar shithole this coming Labor Day Weekend? "Fuck off, Chris, I'm doin' 'Pride and Joy' or I'm outta the band!"

*Still, it's most likely that this cretin just thought: "Hmm, vanity plate time. Car's blue. 2 BLUE FOR YOU. Huh. Wait, 2 BLU FOR U. Still long. Dammit. Oh! 2BLU4U! Suck it! Wait, I got one more space now. I'll just put a 2 on it [grunt, snuffle]..."

But I bet there is a 2 on the end because some other dipshit in, I dunno, Paulding County or somewhere was the first to be truly 2BLU4U.

Was it worth it?

I try to avoid the political here - actually, I try to avoid talking politics everywhere anymore. Hard to tell just looking at someone whether they are an insane cretin or not, so it's best avoided in its entirety. So, while I have numerous thoughts on the debt ceiling fooferaw, I will not be sharing them here. I know, I know - you come to this blog for solace and instruction on all areas of life, but this one? We will have to let it go.

That said, this ad was on the back page of a section of the DDN yesterday. Does a society wherein shit such as this happens/goes unnoticed really deserve to survive?

Think of the children

Was at Target when I saw this abomination:

It's bad enough that no one in these trying times makes the effort to spell or even just not to suck utterly. But:

1. "Funner" - obvs not a word


2. it doesn't rhyme, if that was the intention

Maybe, in some perverse twist on the Star Trek "grups" episode, the under 18s will unite, realize that their "Whitesnake fan"-aged elders have made a mess of things, and take over.

I surrender, kids!

Who are they,

these people who say "Sky sure is gettin' black out there! Better put up those windows!" when the sun is shining directly on dark clouds, thus making them darker, but when it's obviously not going to rain anytime soon?

They are your neighbors. Your family. People that you used to consider friends. People next to you in line at the post office, where they wait to send care packages to relatives fighting in distant places.

What is wrong with them? Have they forgotten about the reflection of sunlight? Water vapor?

What else have they forgotten or maybe never known?

Worst idea in human history ever, bar none

Forget all the bath salt drugs and loose nukes, it's that goddam Key Lime Pie Flavored Gum that should be keeping you awake at night. A friend was finishing her last piece of this awful stuff last night and I just wanted to cry for her and, indeed, for humankind.

I have not tasted it, but I just bet it tastes like the vomit-a-like concoction called a cement mixer. Remember this? Bailey's and lime juice and you shake your head it curdles and everyone snickers and you have fire extinguisher foam stuck to your teeth?

YUK!

Meanwhile, at the sports bar of the near dead

I think Don picked up his illness from the nursing unit where Fran resides, where, just last week, the whole shebang was under quarantine conditions because of raging bug that hopped from one greatest generationer to the next.

These fairly well-off elderly sit in the afternoons in wheelchairs watching Ellen on the big screens in the hallways, before being toted in for supper. I need to remember to have my camera on my phone ready at all times, because I could have won a Pulitzer had I taken a shot I saw Monday. Eudora Welty's shrunken sister asleep in front of the sound-turned-down-but-cc-enabled TV as something called Lady Antebellum (what a name! Why not "we miss having slaves bad band.com"?) played and had its lyrics beaming (this is what was on the screen):

rust red minivan, she's got chocolate on her face, got little hands and she
waves...

Firstly, "has little hands," asshole.

Second, I get so tired.