Why I would fail in the fur business

No, not because I would attempt to dissuade my own clientele from buying the coats on some high-minded moral grounds, no, but rather because I would come up with dumb promotions and ads such as calling a month

FURBRUARY!!!

"Oh, god! A giant pig is gonna EAT ME!"

"What? Perspective? [laughs sheepishly...] Well, I didn't know about that! I'm six weeks old!"

Whew!

I just picked up a phone call on our shared 1-800 line here at work, and it started out with what sounded exactly like the sinister blat of UVB-76! Or so I thought. After two beeps, there were suddenly some gull sounds came up in the mix and then a car salesman-y voice saying that "The captain's pulling the ship out of the dock and blah blah blah" and it turned out to be a cruise offer.

SO, to encapsulate: the UVB-76 buzzer was not actually calling me - it was a ship's horn in a telephone solicitation.

WHEW!