What we're NOT fighting for:

The two sides of STREETCORN

Maybe more like a side and a half...

Picci, aka Streetcorn, Porterhouse, Meat Train, etc, moans and bitches to go outside non-stop. It is INFURIATING. Then her moaning gets Dr Margot Smallski going and the Bride's nerves are just ready to SNAP! Wait til a crying baby gets involved! Whoo, dogies!

Anyway, what does Dipshit do when she's out? Lately, she finds a pile of some spent plants that have been pulled up (rapini, say - or some arugula) - preferably something with lots of dirt-holding roots - and then rolls around in it.

Stay classy, moron!

Picci = a dick

Not sure what is stuck in her furry craw this time, but when I tried to give Picci a love this morning she hissed at me, and, when I insisted, she bit me! Quel brat!

It sucks because we love her, right, but, to company, she really is the rude little pig we joked about at first!

She can make all the Godfather Part II-style "first look at the New World" poses in the kitchen window that she wants, she's still a [sic] asshole.

"Hey! Don't go getting STUPID on that!"

We bought this chair last week, which comes with a nice patterned cushion, etc, so I can sit in it and look like Sidney Greenstreet. Well, not thirty seconds had passed after the de-cardboarding of said seat before an idiot was all a-perched.

Tiring!

You were just waiting for more about CATS!

So, yeah, on the way home from picking up Margot from her former owners, I also had to stop at a friend's who was giving away some books I was to peruse...on leaving, she said "OH! The kitty's in the truck!? Here, take the last of these for her!" and handed me the last of a bag of Friskies Party Crunch (AKA Cat Crack!).

I may have mentioned this stuff before, but it makes cats insane!

So, I dutifully tucked the envelope and small dregs into one of the castoff books and was on my way.

THEN (and I am getting to the point), this morning, when Picci was freed from her basement gulag, she walked in, sniffed and went right to this and started pulling the package out! INSANE!

I mean, the package was RESEALED and INSIDE a book!

And what of the PIG?

Picci, per vet, was sequestered in the basement all night long and WOULD NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT!

Pathetic mewing that wafted upstairs through the night!

Of course, when I went down to let her out, she was not standing by the door -- oh, no, she was just somewhere whining. She then came out, took a spin around the dining room and went back downstairs to the basement.

"Well, whadja expect? I got no brains, just a head full of fat and fur!"

"What are all these?"