Pig in the Rain

Wasn't that a track on In Through the Out Door?  Did not want to come in from the elements.  Okay, stay in your little tomato box thingy.

Bad night for a pig

Sorry, Picci!

A bound pig

Got up at 6:30 or so to this:

Yes, it's a pig who has gotten one of the Bride's hair ties around her middle.

Dr. Margot Smallski, doctor of endocrinology, munching merrily...any thoughts?

(Silence. Shakes head, looks away, still crunching)

Looking to lose her happy home

Picci, a selfish pig*, just can't stay out of the untried-by-baby-human crib.

This was at 7 am this morning.

* curiously (won't go so far as to say "interestingly"), when baby Rafe is all wound up, crying-wise, it's this insensitive lout who always comes up and sniffs with a "concerned" look on her face, so maybe she's not really so bad, but I doubt it.

Full-size crib assembled - idiots pleased

Kyle and I put the large RafeCrib together (he's moved from car seat to bassinette, at last) on Saturday and the thing was not standing for even five minutes before a certain pig and a certain endocrinoligist were crawling all over it.

This bodes well

6:50 am, on the changing table:

Pigs in repose

The good doctor, all retro-y

Even though Dr Margot Smallski sorta chuckled and lightly sneered ("Hipstamatic? How are things in spring 2010?"), here are some cute shots of the other spoiled brat we all must share:

Charlotte's Web 2

Charlotte (exhausted): "I'm try to spell out 'One MISERABLE, UNGRATEFUL Pig'..."















"HEY!!"

Reaching

As I mentioned last week, Picci and her efforts to get outside know no cessation.

Here is the everpopular "Wait til I get thumbs, bitches!" stance:

As I am the new Agatha Christie,

I might as well resurrect her not-very-well-known sibling sleuths Tommy and Tuppence. I mean, if they can keep putting out Godfather books or spin-offs called things like The Wilkeses of Twelve Oaks, I should surely do this!

Anyway, the first will be about the last real pub in a village in Blighty and a murder therein.

It will be called At the Sign of the Loafing Pig.

"Will ah ever be that beautiful?"

Nope! Now get back on your hamper lid flying carpet!

Speaking of flying saucers,

a certain piggish cretin around the house (no, not me) has been sitting constantly on the lid from a laundry hamper, like it's her job.

"Get me a flyin' saucer of cream up in this mug, bitches!"

Pig in a dish

And THIS is what we get to come home to!

"Afternoon of the Pigs"

Hmm, that post heading could be a title from the new [excellent] Suede reissues, some Italian movie from the 1960's or possibly an Impressionist painting...

But no, it's actually THIS photo that earns the name:

Comfortable!

Porch herbs

The Bride plants a couple extra pots of herbs on the porch, as an ectoplasmic giant potsticker appears below...wait! It's the pig.

Come, see a pig slowly destroy the world

Picci, a monster, likes to run outside at any available opportunity. But given that she is a violent, boorish cretin, when she wants in, she wants the fuck in.

To that end, over the last year and a half she has been systematically destroying our kitchen screen door. Oh, there is no stopping her. That's a really cute thought, though.

I suppose hat one of these Saturdays I will have to take the door off, take it apart and pound the screen frame back to some sort of shape with a rubber mallet, which would be a masochistic ecstasy for me, probably.

But WHY? It will all just happen anew.

She's probably tearing your hide-a-bed apart right now out there somewhere, whoever you are.

The Night Morons

(Dr Margot Smallski, MD)

(Picci, a pig)

Spring is icumen in! Loud chomp piggu!

Yeah, it's been a bit warmer, and the days are longer, but the surest sign that spring will really happen is that a certain pig-like creature in my house has been flinging herself at windows and screen doors with abandon in an effort to get out and nosh on the greening grass:

Also, Picci and Margot (aka endocrinologist Dr Margot Smallski) got into a scrap last night in front of company that left us looking like the worst parents EVER. Settle down, fools!