Joe IS the man of the future...

but let's not confuse him with Future Man:

"He looks like a little banana!"

http://www.youtube.com/wtach?v=GKGpXfAdCAs

"I've seen the future and it will be..."

The Bride gets a bang out of chiding me for keeping every magazine I've ever touched, but that's just her being bossy and exaggerative, because I really DO pare down every so often. Now that we own a house, I can go out and buy big plastic tubs and just store crap and keep it all out of the way, unobtrusive...

And yet it's actually a wonderful thing for humanity that I have all this crap, because who else has my steel trap memory and general acuity (hint: nobody)? See, a lot of people would have forgotten this insane ad, from 1993:


















Not much to be said, right? Just that in the future (a very Terry Gilliam future, maybe crossed with the same future where FutureClaire dies at the end of Six Feet Under), girls will wear cute knit hats!

Oh, and that I need a job being the page turner at the BigLibrary (tm) where are the books live. Think of all the books.

Her (into 1984-style intercom thingy): "Hi, could you turn the
page for me?"

Me: "..."

Her: "Hello...anyone there?"

Me: "Oh! Sorry! Was lost in
an old magazine..."

This ad is also in the October 1993 Spin magazine with Kurt on the cover. Amazing RRL ads, as well.

In fact,

here's a picture of me, three weeks from now!

A thing I will never do

You know how some blogs like The Selvedge Yard or, to an extent, yimmy's yayo, get popular and then magazines and fashion people and whatever start giving these bloggers "assignments" along with the accolades and then the actual, y'know, blogging slows to a trickle?

Well, that is something I will not do! Even given the endless onslaught of (maybe) a person a week telling me "I liked that thing you had on the blog about _____," I will not be swayed by the world at large from my appointed task.

COUNT ON IT!

This IS the future

I realized the future was here, but it was wrong, on Sunday when I saw my first two minutes ever of Real Housewives of Atlanta and one of the gals was having some sort of laser treatment done while she ate, like, cheese sticks, through her collagened face.

There won't be any space travel or any of that fancy crap.