Hard teeth

Part of our national folklore is surely how, young and drunk, I did not go to the dentist from 1991 to 2005 (was told I had a "watch" on one tooth, with possibility of a cavity, so simply never went back) and yet emerged with no cavities or problems of any kind.  So oft-told was this tale that it distracted the world from noticing that I failed to go again until yesterday.  And suck it, General Jack D. Ripper: all that fluoride in the tap water of my youth has me still safely free of cavities with two dental appointments in 23 years.  I'd love to say that I won't go back until 2026, when there will no longer be water for the instruments and the hygienist will look like the guy with the saxophone in Beyond Thunderdome, but I have an appointment for one year out, wise ass.