Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Get ready for CRICKET!

This is the mighty Cricket, Caitlyn's dog...a real sweetie, and in the same ballpark, dumbness-wise, as our pig/cat Picci!


"I wanted to drowned out all my suffering..."

Ah! The shitty Tom Ford!

Not much happens in peaceful Pax, however

History at roadside

When driving through Virginia, there are road signs scattered all over where events of historical import happened, such as "On this spot, James and Dolly Madison first got to second base" or "It was under this picnic table that Dave Matthews first passed out reading a copy of Ishi, Last of his Tribe."

We're number thirteen!

Ohio is the nation's 13th most obese state and an estimated two-thirds of
Montgomery County residents are overweight. - DDN

Actually, I'm surprised we're only thirteen.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The internet: a point, at last

How to ruin my wife's day/week/life

1.) Before a trip, pack a bag or satchel with various magazines, digital camera, books, phone chargers, etc:

2.) Incessantly refer to said container as the "Media Bag." As in:

"I went ahead and put the extra bag of Sour Patch Kids in the Media Bag."


"Buddy, would you get out my nicotine lozenges?"

"From your purse or the Media Bag?"

3.) Sit back and wait for various punches and pinches, and criticism that not every goddam thing on earth needs to be turned into a Thing or a meme, for Christ's sake (see also: bb guns)!

Don't just take my word for it! Get your own bag, or have your mother-in-law sew one, then bother YOUR spouse. Report back!

Also, DON'T forget to fill your bag with:

Best of luck!:

[in my dad's gerontologist's examination room...
"Hey, there's a fire!"
"There's a fire!"

Actual Virginians!

Dude at left is named Conderry! In the orange-ish shirt is Rayford Earl!

Dig it!

First green zebra is on its way!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Moon o'er ol' Virginny

Lots and lots of pics from the fifty-five hour Virginia excursion, which will be scattered through the week's updates! Aren't you excited?

Anyway, here's a very Let's Active shot from a moving Ford truck. Yes, I know Let's Active were from North Carolina - what are you going to do, DENY it? I mean, look:

Scenes from "A Wrinkle in Time," Bonner St. versh

[the Bride does her best Mrs Whatsit!]


Oscar? REALLY?

This bionic cat, right, that made the internet rounds over the weekend? I call BULLSHIT! Did they think I wouldn't notice the ever-subtle name, "Oscar?" When Oscar Goldman was the name of the gubmint agent who was responsible for making Steve Austin all bionic 'n' shit in the first place???
Methinks I smell a rat! And so does the bionic kitteh, as he gets his ravenous robot legs all over some mouse or other.
Anyway, I will continue to investigate this, tirelessly. Someone is profiting off this and I don't LIKE IT!


Thursday, June 24, 2010

Okay, weekend

Crap mixes

These off-the-cuff, poorly thought out mixed I made for the road? Pretty terrible!


Imperial Bedrooms, a steaming pile, is only about 170 pages, to add insult to injury. So I'm taking it very slowly (twss). There's a weird blue Jeep that is watching Clay! Mysterious. Also, the universe imploded (did you feel it?) when Clay describes a horror movie about a "talking beanbag."

Pray for me.

Brief break in service

Making a 54-hour dash to Virginia for a funeral, which means posting here will resume Monday. I know that many, many hundreds of thousands of you count on this organ [!] as your sole contact with the world at large...but there's a whole big universe out there, so there's scarcely a need to remain glued to your screen in hopes that I may share an iota of my accumulated wit and all-encompassing erudition [I started that sentence having no idea what it was going to say, and it really did turn out crummy!] while we are on the road.

Who knows what crap I will take pictures of, though? YOU ARE ALL BLESSED.

Image dump

[and it's true - they do!]

Shopping for Knives

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

"You asked for it, tough guy...this is the TARANTULA BOX!"

Nick Eddy Regrets

It's been brought to my attention that our Caitlyn spells her name "Caitlin."

Nick Eddy Relents regrets the error, but it must be remembered that I am an old, old man nearing the end of my days and that we didn't even have the name Caitlin when I was a sprout.

Coming of the RAIN PIG!

Hey, dumbass! You don't really want to go outside - it's pouring rain!

"Yes, I DO, goddammit!"

Scythes are the new BARRELS!

We went to our li'l community board meeting last night (if that's what they called it) and the City Manager presented a powerpoint doohickey that covered deficits and city expenditures.

Mind=blown over the fact that the city of D_____ spends $400,000 annually making sure all vacant lots are cut -- once! Between gasoline, manpower, maintenance, etc. that is what it costs!

Now, at the corner of our street, there is a nice, old house/maybe-at-one-time-office sort of building, a nice grey-blue color. The grass has not been cut all year; it's up to my hips.

I asked the City Manager and the Mayor, then, if I were to go out and buy a sickle or scythe or borrow a Bush-Hog from some real man I might know, and just CUT down the grass I see around our neighborhood, couldn't I save the city some $$$?

They nodded and smiled and the CM actually gave a thumbs-up!

So, I intend to go to Ace or maybe even Harbor Freight and buy a scythe for fifty bucks, then roam the streets looking for out-of-control lots I could possibly hack 'n' hack. Then, I can learn to sharpen my old blade, sitting out on the porch, in the dark.

"Chee-lays! Bring me a glass of Vernors!"


"It made it evener..."

Another summer dream

I think that this should be the summer that we get a butler named Chiles, but then pronounce it "chee-lays", like the Spanish pronunciation of the pepper.

"Chee-lays! Another La Croix!"

"Yes, sir. Lemon?"

"No, Chee-lays. I think this!"

"Very good, sir."

It's now or never!