Tuesday, September 30, 2014

In my head when I woke up:

Football post 4 - a reminder

Football post 3

The G.M., checking off the sheets
I've been in a football pool with friends for - let's see, this would be Year Five.  Year One, when I knew nothing about football, I won the pool twice, I think (it's just picking wins, tied total number of wins go to points)?  The next year I won two or three weeks AND the Superbowl pool.  In 2012 and 2013, I won NOTHING!  Not once.  Disheartening.

On Sunday night, I was under the understanding that I was tied with another "gamer" and that I needed the Chiefs to beat the Patriots to win!  That, of course, could never happen.  Still, Chiefs at home.  Tom Brady is tired.  Regardless, I bopped around optimistically all day, with a spring in my step that I had gotten that far.

Oh, but no - turns out that the Games Mistress herself had the Cowboys on Sunday night, which put her one game ahead of me.  She had the Patriots picked, but even if they lost, we would be tied on number of correct picks, so it would go to points.

I thought that last night would be a high-scorer, so I had blithely said, "Eh - 56 total points?"

So the Chiefs had to win and there had to be a shit-ton of points scored.

As another competitor put it:

You can check the results yourself.

So, in the last week, I have gotten a great job, we had a clean bill of health on the new baby and I won the football pool.

I have to assume nothing will ever, ever not go my way again.

Football post 2

Can we get to .500?  STAY TUNED!

Football post 1

Sunday night, during our weekly bitchfest about Cris Collinsworth, the Bride was all "And his weird twang or whatever it is - where is he from?"

Kyle says "Florida!" then "wait" then we googled and guess what?

B: January 27, 1959 D_____, OH

This lead to the Bride flipping us off, as further proof that Ohio is a shithole,

Regardless of gender,

maybe we call the new baby Fruitkwan?

Monday, September 29, 2014

Baking a cake with 1994-era Liam Gallagher

"Oil? Me and [Noel] are like oil and water, us."

"Counting backwards from ten?  No ta, lad.  I've got some good clothes,
that's all I need, not some fookin' maths."

"Those fookin' warnings about not eating raw cake dough
or summat - they've got fookin' nawt to do with me!"

"This cake has it right together."

Greatest moment of Bride's life and she wasn't even there

It is the bane of the Bride's life that I tend to order orange
soda when it is available in a restaurant.  Orange soda is just
not as mature as, say, a cola.  Well, Saturday at our fave Mexican
joint the orange soda was out of order.  ADVANTAGE BRIDE.

Two dudes put in new Disposall (tm)

"Let's do this!"

Lightning McQueen flashlight was an invaluable help


Good to know


At last, a breakfast solution!

Which is a Nan Goldin photo?

Halloween is coming

I'm still pushing for Ru as Killer Bob, to little avail.

Always providing

Like you, I wonder about twice a year what Turhan Bey looked like.  So here:

Friday, September 26, 2014

Weekend (tie)

Uh oh!

Autumn tableau, as found, at Wayne Ave. Kroger

Ultimate wussness

Finally had a chance to listen to this twice and it killed me.  Plus I listened while going to buy shirts.


Was hired for a new job, start on Monday, 10/6. More details soon!



It doesn't HAVE to be!

Gaunt sighting haiku

A friend who's watching
Sopranos for the first time:
"Gaunt on Meadow wall!"

Review of the Kooks, whom I've never cared about

Sorry, boys

Most pretentious post ever, BUT here are commenter names you can have all via Nine Stories

Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948
That Jar of Bronze
Jimmy Jimmareeno
L Manning Vines
L Manning Vines or Hines
Miss Basehoar
Your Father Makes Them or Something
Joan the Snob
They're So Cute
Eric, For Chrissake
This Writer
The First Really Good Camel's Hair I've Seen Since the War
The Famous Maxine
The Easter Chick
Some Sort of Monstrous Vacuole
Billy Walsh
Out-Going Water in the Bathtub
A Big Sloppy Kike
Mother Grencher
Quite Intelligent for an American
That Business With That Cat
Viennese Poop
Madame Bovary at Columbia Extension School
After You Alphonse
Le Pauvre Picasso
Coney Island Red Hot
Douglas Bunting
The American Girl In Shorts
Ulceration Cancereuse
Exquisite Day You
A Friend of Professor Babcock's
My Goddam Leica
Four Tiled Walls

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Bryan Ferry's hair

New Bryan Ferry album, which I guess is reason to stay alive.  What I really like is that he's stopped dyeing his hair:

I have more grey than him, which is not surprising as I am about five years older than him.


Yep. Robert Smith appeared to us in a vision the other night

Swag samples, part 1

Friends were out on tour, here are just some of the goodies bestowed upon us:

for a kid

For pregnant mom

Oh, this fucking thing: Kyle sent a pic of this and I said "what the shit is that?"
Apparently it's some Chicago area garage punk band.  "They're passed out, already!"
I said "Are they going anywhere [I meant career-wise]?"  When I was convinced they
will not make it in any way, that was when I said "BUY ME THAT!" even in the
face of my fatwa against more novelty tees for me.  Because I can think of ALL sorts
of places I can wear this and get "guh?" looks.


Tire buyback!

They were actually passing these flyers out
The County had a two-bucks-per-tire buyback (up to 10 tires) and I took full advantage of it.  I must say it was a display of humanity like one has never seen.  Ramshackle vehicles from Road Warrior, weighed down with tires of all kinds.  I happened to have six tires at the garden which had been left there at various times by folks who must have thought they would make good planters; I also had four in the backyard that I had grabbed in various alleys to dispose of when we have the official semi-annual alley sweep (October something or other).  But here's the kind of thing that made me insane: there was a nice, tight system where one lane would be let free to enter the dump facility for about ten cars.  That lane would stop, everyone would sit while those vehicles' tires were disposed of, then it was the other lane's turn.  Okay?  Anyone who sat there for five minutes would get the implied rubric.  EXCEPT that every time they did it, some toothless maniacs would think "Hey!  I need to get in that other lane!" and try to force their way into the lane that seemed like it would be in eternal, sweet flow.  "WHAT ONE?" they bellowed.  There was also a lot of Joad-like moving of passengers between vehicles, because it was likely a family affair for the the ages,  "Jimmy, run this Red Bull up there to Aunt Inez," etc.


Someone realized he could do this in the front window:

In football season

Okay, the Vikings will remained doomed for another 500 years, in the face of the unconscionable Adrian Petersen awfulness; I had nine picks correct in the pool the other night and that still wasn't enough to win; OH, and the worst part of being alive ever: in even watching the NFL I am a co-participant in that goddamn Matthew McConaughey (sp?) Lincoln commercial.  I am so horrified by this series (I think I've only seen two: "night" and the one where he looks in his side-view mirror for no goddamn reason) that I have only one recourse: to memorize every "deep" line he says and then torment the Bride with them at random, a la The Bret Easton Ellis System.  Pray for us.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Aftermath

This was Sunday afternoon - wiped!  The shindig took it out of him.  3.5 hour nap.

In my head when I woke up

Weird, I don't care about this song at all, really, but there it was:

Now THAT'S graffiti


"They know Gym Larry, not Larry Larry."

Promo shot for "Belle and Sebastian Babies"

I can almost hear "Sleep the Clock Around."

Tee shirts!

Chad, Tess and Andy made the shirts like crazy...we sold $600 worth,
And the raffle of neighborhood business gift certificates raised about $480.
So the whole event made about five hundred bucks.  Which was better than, you know,
not making 500 bucks.


I told them it was all going to be okay!

Brooke, Ian, Brooke's sister and her new baby

I walked right up and grabbed this baby and he RULED!


Serendipity: Supergrass "Alright" comes on the masterful iPod playlist
right at hula-hoop time