In football season

Okay, the Vikings will remained doomed for another 500 years, in the face of the unconscionable Adrian Petersen awfulness; I had nine picks correct in the pool the other night and that still wasn't enough to win; OH, and the worst part of being alive ever: in even watching the NFL I am a co-participant in that goddamn Matthew McConaughey (sp?) Lincoln commercial.  I am so horrified by this series (I think I've only seen two: "night" and the one where he looks in his side-view mirror for no goddamn reason) that I have only one recourse: to memorize every "deep" line he says and then torment the Bride with them at random, a la The Bret Easton Ellis System.  Pray for us.