Most pretentious post ever, BUT here are commenter names you can have all via Nine Stories

SexIsFunOrHell
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948
That Jar of Bronze
Ortgies
Jimmy Jimmareeno
L Manning Vines
L Manning Vines or Hines
Miss Basehoar
Your Father Makes Them or Something
Joan the Snob
They're So Cute
Eric, For Chrissake
This Writer
The First Really Good Camel's Hair I've Seen Since the War
The Famous Maxine
The Easter Chick
Some Sort of Monstrous Vacuole
SomethingOfATransvestite
Omba
Hong
Billy Walsh
Out-Going Water in the Bathtub
AStunningAndFinalGirl
A Big Sloppy Kike
Mother Grencher
Quite Intelligent for an American
That Business With That Cat
CHALES
f-a-c-u-l-t-i-e-s
Viennese Poop
Madame Bovary at Columbia Extension School
After You Alphonse
AReddish-BrownMustache,AgedThreeWeeks
Inscrutable
Le Pauvre Picasso
Coney Island Red Hot
"Titan"
ThereAren'tAnyChairsInYourSon'sRoom
Douglas Bunting
The American Girl In Shorts
Ulceration Cancereuse
Exquisite Day You
Jesus-brilliant
A Friend of Professor Babcock's
My Goddam Leica
Four Tiled Walls