Tuesday, June 30, 2009

"It's all different now..."

(some attendees at a local funeral home's Michael Jackson observance [!], D_____, O_ [DDN])

That Russo-Japanese War battle map you wanted

Don't say this blog doesn't provide. Don't.

Spontaneous deejay sets

A lot of people are probably wondering when I intend to start showing up at used book stores and pet shelters and sort of setting up some equipment and throwing down spontaneous guerilla deejay sets, putting smiles on downtrodden faces while flaunting my peerless musical erudition. You know, you're walking by and hear a run of: New Order "Regret">Rush "Witch Hunt">Bad Brains "Sacred Love"> Zombies "Care of Cell 44">504 Boys "Tight Whips">Dolly Parton "Here You Come Again">Nation of Ulysses "A Kid Who Tells On Another Kid's a Dead Kid">Krokus "Long Stick Goes Boom">Chet Baker "Everything Happens to Me">Beatles "Everybody's Got Something to Hide (Except for Me and My Monkey)>Blue Nile "Tinseltown in the Rain">T Rex "Highway Knees"...you know, that sort of thing. Sounds just dreamy, right?

Well, I'd love to! Except I lack the gear and the time and the patience to do it. Plus I'd have to get Cory or somebody to come set up all the shit (which, again, I do not have), and quel pain in the ass for him!

So for now, my friends, this must remain a dream of yours. But who knows? If you pull up for Dog Night at the frozen custard place and hear "If You Don't Love Me" (Prefab Sprout) into "My War" (Black Flag) blasting out of some sort of cobbled-together 1986-calibre speaker system, look around and I just may be there.

Buy American

That Mark Sanford, is it? With the Argentinian gf? Hey, gov! What's wrong with American chicks?

I mean, look at the intern or whatever circled here! Her nice Witherspoon meets Hathaway scrubbed clean features weren't good enough for this bum???

Instead, he wasted taxpayer money on airfare and electricity (international email [?]). DUMB!

Hindenburg Neck

This is actually pretty tough, unless it's a Led Zepplin [sic; as dude thinks of it] thing. Then it would be WEAK.

Monday, June 29, 2009

You can TELL me it's the Argentinian president

But I will still say it's Maya Rudolph doing an SNL skit about The Wealthy ca. Fall 1999:

My doctor must not watch much M*A*S*H*

Dr Liu: "You are as healthy as the next 40 year old guy..."

NE: "Yeah, if he's been dead two weeks."

See, a doctor who watched a lot of Alan Alda would have called me out for Larry Gelbart-esque bullshit straight away.
(I'm gonna live, though. Even liver function was good. If I never eat again and run 11 miles a day, I could make 45!)

Bar none, the absolutely best thing in the history of mankind (Stupidity Division)

I mean, sometimes words fail:


And what about Fleur?

And no one made a big deal about Fleur Cowles, who edited the short-lived Flair magazine in the 50's, and who surely made a bigger impact on me and my apartment than did the Manchild from Gary? She also died, and this month!

Even used, the Best of Flair book is like 173.50, which is, naturally, BULLSHIT!

My fall just got eleventy-two per cent more wuss

Stoked! Aug 25!:

The Michael Jackson Story

Not much to say that hasn't been said, except that one time in high school, Episcopal youth group doodad had a scavenger hunt and one of the items that could be found in a parishioner's home was an autographed copy of Thriller. I had no idea who had this, but I knew that I had a copy that belonged to my neighbor Robbie H______ (hello, Robbie! And sorry about that copy of Thriller!) that had been left at my house. So we (my team and I) dutifully drove to my house and got it, I got a black ballpoint and just scrawled Michael Jackson on it. When we got back in the allotted time, the associate rector looked surprised and said something to the effect of "Did my wife give it to you?" I, flummoxed, shook my head No. Turns out it was HIS daughter who had the elusive copy. If I had only kept my stupid mouth shut, we may have won some Cassano's coupons or summat.


Oh, and I love a thing I read somewhere - maybe Warhol Diaries? - where MJ, AW and maybe Liz Taylor/Halston/Jack'n'Anjelica/Rip Taylor are hanging out and some beboppity kidz' music comes one and everyone tries to cajole Michael into some dancing (please elide the inherent steppin fetchit-ness) and he laughs and says "Oh, no - that's WORK."

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Have a great 4th!

Wait - that's next week!

Anyway - I am on vacation until Monday. If anything earth-shaking needs to be discussed, I will bring the goods.


Greatest song of all time? Why, "Every Single Day" by J-pop stalwarts Love Love Straw, of course! Why?

(was looking for "Shout!" by the Intrepreters for another post, entirely. Not on yertube! Huh. Still, this is the find of the millennium. Willennium?)

Enjoy, for the seven minutes before web overkill

Non-Malkmus Pavement dude's solo LP cover:

Fake album covers: born, not made

1. Have a ready-made band name for your friend's fake band.

2. Have a battery of saved, odd album cover-y images on hand at all times

3. Wait for inspiration (eg, a typo: "missummer" for "midsummer")

4. Realize what a good album title that would be, find suitable Belle and Sebastian-ish image

5. Assemble and send!

"rock artist," for cry yi

Saw a dude in a tee shirt yesterday that said, screened over a picture of an amp volume knob:


"Rock artist?" Because the origin of this hackneyed slogan is unknown? Or an indictment of 'rock artists' in general?

Either way, I was ready to die.


This may take a second.

We went to dinner Saturday night and while we waited for our 7:45 seating time (late dinner like grownups!), we killed a few minutes in the ace used book store right down the street. While there I found The Seminoles by Sonia Bleeker! Ace! I read her whole series of books on Indian (as was) tribes when I was a kid! I had thought of trying to find one or two of these, but could not for the life of me think of what the author's name was. Beneficent! Can't find a pic of the one I got, but here are some others:

So that was nice. When I got in Monday, the first thing I had to do, natch, was find out via wiki anything I could on Ms Bleeker. Soon, though, my mind was to be blown and all time and space was sucked into a whirling vortex (was it?) when I found this, while perusing the World Wide Web (which is sort of a huge electrical library, of sorts):


So, you mean to tell me that Sonia Bleeker was married to Herbert friggin' ZIM, the guy behind all the Golden Science books that I read a million times? Including THIS one, that I still have (along with Stars) right at hand at home, in case I am suddenly overtaken with the urge to check out Harry McNaught's paintings of cloud formations? Indeed, all the art for one of my dumb bands was scanned full on off this pup?

That is all to say that these two mellow scientists just sat around blithely rolling out books that I loved all day long? NO WAY!

And what else is exciting about all of this is that it gives me hope I will find the first book on Greek myths I ever read in Grade 2 - I have no idea what it was called and only a vague recollection of the cover (a sort of pale yellow sky in pic of some Olympians, maybe, facing to the left?), probably from the late 40's or 50's - but, regardless, it's out there somewhere!

Try this!

Next time you see someone with a spanking new tattoo with Chinese characters which allegedly testify to ink-haver's inner strength or what have you, say "Wow! I so did not know you spoke Chinese! That's aMAzing!"



Richard Nixon and MFK Fisher were first cousins.


My dad (he's 86!) is fond of telling about his friend Skoley when they were kids. My dad and his friends the Parkers (brothers, he still has lunch with one or possibly both of them) were fairly dirt-poor, but would hang out with Skoley, whose folks were loaded and he had all kinds of crazy toys and rich-kid stuff that was hot ca. 1930 (platinum spats, ivory jacks, etc).

So, Skoley (first name lost to time) was a mite big for his britches. In fact, he once put a sign up in his fancy-ass back yard that read



Word of the day!


pertaining or appropriate to

Had never heard of this one! Someone should start a summer party thing for the city called


but that would just confuse our sad, sad citizenry.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

10 years ago this coming Friday

Hahahahahahahahaha. Ha.

Whoa, not woah

Been seeing this quite a bit. Whoa is spelt as in graphic here, not "woah."



Sunday morning:

"Happy father's day, Mama!"

Oh, Gorby!

When did you get so old? You don't even look like yourself.

Stoked, though, that even though you do Gucci ads, your suit/tie setup still looks like you bought it at a Robert Hall outlet in Gdansk ca. 1979!

Morning dogs

House sitting!

There are two cats (one of whom I wish to swipe) and two (wait for it) dogs!

Not used to dog behavior. One is a big sweet chocolate lab, the other is a sweet, but frenetic, cockapoo (maybe?) puppy.

One or the other of these morons* tore apart one of the Bride's sandals! I said "Well, that means a trip to DSW, then, doesn't it?"

But the mornings are funny - open the back sliding door to let them out and the little one is all "Hey! It's all still here!" at the prospect of the backyard natural world. Aww!

Fret not! The home cats are visited and rubbed at length. They like the break, not worrying that, as they nap, I will come up, grab them and let out an eldritch cackle.

* also, I keep saying (when it's time to go in or out) "Morons! Your bus is leaving!" in my best Bill Murray from Groundhog Day.

Just cricket!

Believe it or not, there are still streets in this town I have not driven down. So, Saturday morning, when faced with a new area in a rather crap part of the the city, I decided to just poke around and see what I found. WELL, what I found was a nice green field next to what looked like an old ice factory and therein were a bunch of fellows playing full-on CRICKET! In full white flannels and helmet and the whole thing. On a small crest of hill, folks were sitting out with picnic baskets and such watching the action.

I'd go back and look again, but I'm scared it was all some sort of cricket Brigadoon that only appears when the summer solstice falls on a Saturday in a year that is a prime number or something. Don't want to be disillusioned.

Still - who'd a thunk?

Friday, June 19, 2009

"Do you always wait for the longest day of the year and then miss it?"

Have a great weekend! Summer!

No, no, QUITElame

NotLame is putting this out, and, really, you couldn't make something this pointless up:

Yep, it's an album of the Smitheereens covering Tommy.

Masterful in its inherent shitness!

What the hell?

Agree or not,

this is a hot quote, from EM Forster:

NICE, Fagen!

It's swampy as hell here, with big storms on for later - in other words, summer in O___!

It being summer, I immediately thought I should post the video for "New Frontiers" by Donald Fagen. But, huh - Prince-style, the video is not posted on yertube, although it used to be. Fagen would be uptight enough to squash YOUR afternoon fun! Argh.

So, in the absence of that, here's THIS:

In the News

Wait - what? I just remembered about In the News, the 2.5 minute news segments for kids that CBS used to run on Saturday mornings!

Needless to add, the youtube gawdz bring the goods:

Teens need their own doctors!

40th anniversary of the atom bomb (extra hot, because it contains the classic ITN "theme")!

The Who stampede!:

Shit yes, y'all

More hot tune news, continuing to make this last year of the human race even more rock-tastic!

Oct 6!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Man Who Fell to Earth

Spent the last two evenings re-reading this book, by Walter Tevis. It's so good. Takes me back to eighth grade. You, being smarter that your correspondent, could read it in a couple of hours.

Old Thomas Newton comes to earth from his dying homeworld, with the intent of selling all his way-advanced technology to earthlings so he can build a big space-ark to go back and get his homies. Plan is going accordingly, but then (ta-dah!), as would happen in real life, he just ends up an apathetic drunk and accidentally blinded by Evil FBI Scientists.

David Bowie (who else?) plays in the movie.

Check this psycho-delic preview out, maaan (voiceover by Shatner!):

Two (2) nice things

This blog only seems like it's bitch, bitch, bitch all the time!

"Why does Teri Hatcher make that face?"
"Who are these idiots who prefer Joy Division to New Order?"
"The Hold Steady - WHY???"
"Norwegian Wood by Maruki Hurakami - you got to be shitting
"Why has no one ever figured out or asked whether he's saying ECK cetera in
'Sweet and Tender Hooligan' on PURPOSE?"

ECK cetera

There are some nice things that happen, in life. Herewith, two:

My aunt's cat Cutie, who is like Hyman Roth in that she's been dying from "renal failure" for two years but shows no real effects that I have ever seen - well, my aunt is moving to Columbus at 88 and the cat can't come due to allergies on the parts of someone (son? daughter-in-law?). So there was a last-minute big panic about what to do with this "dying" cat. My aunt was sobbing that the night before the move the cat was all extra-lovey and giving her kisses and the like. I'm sure my cousin was just hoping for a Night of The Long Needle or perhaps dropping said puttytat from an airplane. ANYway, I took the cat by the whiskers (to coin a phrase) and got my boss, the gentleman farmer of chicken-rescue fame, to take said cat and let it live in barn/garage/stables with other cats, horses and the rooster. Sweet!

Other nice thing is that my driver's side window has been slowly dying - it would go down, but not back up, at least not without getting out of the car and putting one's whole weight on it. Then, yesterday, with a storm (that never materialized) a-brewing, the button completely died. When I pulled in front of my building, the guy up the street and his buddy were out putzing with one in a series of small motorcycles (weird orange 70's Yamahas, eg) and I thought to save some stair-climbing by asking him if I could use a flat-head screw drive to poke around. The dude just gets up, comes over, takes the door apart, removes the switch (1989-era Swede engineering at its finest, replete with ball-bearings inside), reassembles it, puts the door back together and now it works like a charm! If I had a hundred years on the moon by myself, I could not have done this! Neighborly as fuck!

I bought these two a "sixer" of "Bud," which was enjoyable in its oddness. $6.15 for a six-pack? Good lord! I could get two Highsmith books from Alibris for that! Amazing!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


This sub-hed on Pitchfork re Lollapalooza schedule killed me:

Beastie Boys and Tool at the same time might cause problems.

Yeah, the concession stands might all run out of Doan's pills! (rimshot)


Nick Eddy Relents - STILL not monetized

Yes, I continue to grind out the pithy text for free! Were I to solicit donations, I might come under the thumb of some nefarious powers or some such.

Were I to get an extra 130 bucks, however, I would buy the living shit out of this:

Excited rube: "Wow, cool jersey, man! I didn't know you were that into hockey!"

NE (puzzled): "...hockey?"

"O-S-U! O-S-U!"

Seriously, this will launch thousands of "funny" forwarded bordering-on-racist email jokes, but for now: what a big, odd world (click to enlarge).

Monday, June 15, 2009

Where the heart is

Christ! And this is in the UK, where they still have, like, schools:

When our identical twin girls marry Iranians someday...

That is, if we ever have twins. Anyway, our grandkids will say "Grampa, what did you do the day of the 2009 Teheran Revolution?" and I will say "eh? EH? EH?" because I will be about 90.

Then I will tell them I spent the entire day listening to that Dangermouse/Sparklehorse/David Lynch Dark Night of the Soul record, which I had vowed not to care about, but then Li'l Anne asked if I had it and so I got it and it's just the ultimate lazy summer day record. Only gloomy. Or something. Amazed to give a shit, but, after listening four times on repeat it's Top Ten of the Year material!

"Bad Lieutenant"?

Michael wept


"Why? It's eye-talian."

Really! In 2009!

One thin dollar

got me a 12" of "True Faith" at a garage sale Saturday! B/W "1963," as you know!

Not that I need it or even have a turntable!

I owned this the first time around, and left it (with a couple hundred other records) at 28 Chambers St in D_____, way back in 1989. Trop de partying, etc. Now it is mine again! All for a buck!

And, as I have mentioned on this organ (heh) before, I love this cover. Now I will have to buy a house so I can tack this up above the steps to the basement.

Death penalty, please

Here's that idiot kid who was tearing killing cats in Florida (a cesspool, yes):

He should be torn apart by some cats.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Happy Friday

Nabosummer '09

Have one!

I've got about 140 pages to go to finish the trippy Ada. 600 pages! Lord. Two weeks in!

Maybe Bend Sinister next...

Plan is to get through Ada, read a couple non-VN things (Murakami, Highsmith) then plunge back in. Stay awake, if you can, for updates as Nabosummer '09 continues.

If I start using words like "coeval" or "crepuscular" and start referring constantly to "linden trees," you will know what happened.

Ooh! Also: