I failed to mention Tommy the Locksmith

Weeks ago now, the deadbolt went kerflooey and I had to call a locksmith.  Google coughed up this kid: Tommy, from Israel!  Just the best.   Our door is 1,100 years old and thinner than a modern door, so it was a two-hour ordeal.  I told him he could go ahead and move in with us.  He said "Great!  I can get up and work on this door every day!"

Well-played, sir.