A Nick Eddy app?

One of my brothers texted the other day:

When the f--k are you going to get a g--amn, motherf---ing, co-----king mobile app?

Another friend posits that she doesn't really have time for the blog all the time (such a commitment!), but would like an app that is like having me around, sort of.  I think this is what she said, it was told to me secondhand.  The gist of the app would be: slightly annoying in the morning, then throughout the day interesting little bits would plop out.  Like a day with me!

C'MON, INVESTOR$!!!