Me (exasperated by being falsely cornered): "Untrue, I was reading it at your mom's at Christmas, but just haven't had time to get back to it..."
Bride: "And yet it's been lying on the bed, with all your folders and bits of paper and crap...you're like a raccoon!"
Me: "Maybe I'm building a dam?"
Bride: "Raccoons don't build dams, MORON!"
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