Something nice my dad did

Face looks like DeForest
Kelly with a beard, yes

Also, all these other kids had tons of GI Joe crap, I mean the advanced stuff.  I had none, at age 4.5, would use someone else's guy who was missing a hand or pants [...] when playing.  Then one day, some asshole told me off for not having my own GI Joe!  I went home and wept into my copy of Pale Fire.  Then dad, on a just a random, say, Thursday, brought home my own GI Joe from the toy store (Throckmorton's!).  Thanks, pops!

Don, if you're reading this and payback is needed, remember I pulled your pants up Monday.

"You did what?"