Open letter to the President:

Congratulations on your second term, sir.  Since your various gross nemeses won't let you do things you would like to do, try to get his done: those commercials where the celebs/or owners of whatever company the commercial is shilling for end up laughing, as if in a fake outtake (Papa John's dickhead does this all the time)?  Fucking stop these.  Please.

Your pal,
Nick