A must:

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Fictional character I'D like to punch?

In my imagination, some magazine, such as Paris Review (or possibly Elle), with Updike dead, wrote to me to solicit a paragraph on the topic above.  Here's what would I imagine I wrote:

Print is dead, or so I am told at every nocturnal turning.  So I will spare you a meaningless listing of paper personages who roust my ire.  No, of all the many fictional personages who roam the imagination, it is Gossip Girl eminence gross Rufus Humphrey I would like most to find at the end of my feeble swing.  Whether plaintively plucking a D chord, clammily hectoring his poor kids (but with understanding) or generally being a pain in the ass to his wife who has real problems, this simp needs to be curbstomped: maybe the pressure of a steel-toed boot would do something in the way of forcing him to decide on a hairstyle.

Crab madness

And I guess we're going to go eat at some place that keeps bringing out crab legs, shrimp and corn on the cob until someone at your table DIES!

How to find Gabe's house

He says to be on the lookout for these cats when we arrive in Savannah evening, it means we're getting close:

A summer scene

Overheard:

"So you're not gonna be my rep?"

Stay alive

Early September:

And yet I live, to make pointless items such as:

Shooting fish in a barrel, speaking of fish

Making fun of Matchbox 20 is pointless, if easy.  Does anyone think of them all?  I don't know, and I won't be asking the next crying divorcee I see.  I'll just assume that people do care about them, it's easier than than doing the heavy lifting of why's unt wherefores.

I may have mentioned I subscribed to a mega-cheap offer to get Rolling Stone, so I could access to their online archives, which was worth it, I guess.  I had not read an issue of RS in ten years or more and it's still terrible, only now terrible with Matt Taibbi!  And small. 

The first issue that arrived a bit back had Charlie Sheen on the cover and I found said issue under the bed the other day amid the dust and pacifiers.  I duly flipped through whilst brushing my teeth this morning and ALMOST killed myself when I came read the (mercifully brief) article about M20 making their first album in ten years.  

Here's where I nearly took the gas pipe:

They bonded over their favorite music from the Eighties - soaking up everything form Paul Simon and INXS to Talking Heads. "We watched Stop Making Sense in the studio," Thomas says. "David Byrne is like an alien!"

IS HE, ROB?  Is he, really? 

The idea of these guys joshin' and cuttin' up while decidin' which tracks of fucking Kick are their personal favorites makes me want to blow up the fucking moon.

Nick Eddy, namer of fish!

Josh, this last Sunday

Ah, yes, blogger, songwriter, father, lover of multitudes...what was I saying?  Oh!  Pet namer! 

Kyle has had this fish forever and the poor thing has never had a name.  I thought he looked like a Josh, though no Josh I know.  He just had a Joshness.

And it was so!

Two old guys charging a Subaru air conditioner

So close

NEW Menards is almost open.  Think of all the tools and trinkets I can buy, use once and forget about!

Other scenes from the weekend of a nine-month old



"Grande-sized Starbucks cup FTW!"



"Woke Grampa up and he said he was glad to see me...not sure
what's up with the mummy arms, though!"

"Cheryl was by for the first time in ages, bringing some much-missed
Lily van der Woodsen-style grace back to my life..."

"Haha, this was fun.  Fell asleep in car on Sunday leading mommy and daddy
to think they would get a nap when we got home, but instead I squawked and slapped at them until they
finally just gave up!"

"HEY, I'M STANDING OVER HERE!"

An item I did not buy and shoulda at the Ian & Brooke Garage Sale 2012



Could have used in some Christian Marclay-style
art project I'll never get around to or even think up, really



Let's talk about FENCES!

Two fence-related things, one being this fun dog gate at Ian's place:

The other being how the morning glories are going to take over my entire house/life (this is on the gate at front of house - didn't even put any seeds down this year!)...

Bowling ball garden at dump

Took a bunch of detritus to the dump and was blown away to see that over time the Dump Dudes had saved literally hundreds of bowling balls back and used them to line the entire building.  

"Hey, let's save every bowling ball we find!"

"Okay!"

[later:]

"Hey, we're running out of space, with all these bowling balls...let's line the outside of this place with them!"

"Okay!"

In the alley

Was up at about 7am Saturday, doing shit...found some "interesting" junk in the alley:

Sad broken chair giving off 80's indie/C86 vibe

"Banana Red?" A source tells me it tastes like
old-fashioned Cool Breeze

Altarcast

"Altarcast?"  This is spray-painted on the wall in the place where we practice.

I wonder if they're famous?

It exists, actually

Had a dream about 5:10 this morning that Chris Glass had a new apartment that was up very high, so high one could see into the pro football stadium below.  He was having a housewarming party and was offering everyone iced Coca-Cola mixed with coffee, which, it turns out, is a real thing!

Thanks for the dream-party, Chris; it was a blast!

Another superpower

I would love to have the power to make other feel like there's a coin stuck to their back (such as when they go to fridge for a cold drink) when they wake up from a nap.

4th Anniversary of blog; universe recoils

Yep, I have been toiling away at this mess thanklessly for four years.

Weekend

Greek Theatre - bah!

Peter Hook-less New Order at the Greek Theatre in LA on Oct 7th.

The real question is: why not in the school parking lot at the end of our street?

Fake Overheard:

"Yeah, I know...things did get a little Incident at Hawk's Hill the other night..."

[didn't actually hear someone say this at all - but you SHOULD say this somewhere to-nite!]

To do

Goddamn it, have to do all this shit:

tonight
stop for avocados/bread
fill S.P.U.G. tank
weed eat
rock practice

Saturday
rake composting leaves into bins proper (at, like, 7:00 am before it's mad hot)
new toilet seat
charge Subaru a/c
get fish tank w/Kyle
make fun dinner (italian sausages with celery root slaw)

Sunday
practice Goodbye songs/work on new Crusher songs
go see my decrepit parents with Rafe
"pick up"
laundry
find DVD of Casablanca

Cute the crap!

Speaking of style blogs, look @ our little Gabe, all growed up in the dirty American South!

Looks like I'll need to bring my A game when we visit, or at least B+!

Those Seven Sisters shirts

This one will particularly "funny."

I think I can get all six that I need and for fairly cheap, either from each school's bookstore online or Zazzle/Cafe Press.  It may have to wait, with shipping this may end up being 150 bucks.  But worth it?  If the band can make enough to pay our rehearsal space rent (cheep!) I will save all the other "earnings" of mine and buy them.

IF the Kickstarter "Stop Nick Eddy Relents" check finally/actually  rolls in, I will send you all snail-mail updates on all this.

That Cribs best-of tracklisting

Yes, it has really happened.

Glitters Like Gold
Mirror Kissers
I've Tried Everything
Pure O
Hey Scenesters!
Come On, Be a No-One
The Light Went Out
Cheat on Me
Men's Needs
Hari Kari
We Can No Longer Cheat You
Last Year's Snow
It Was Only One Love
The New Fellas
We Share the Same Skies
Uptight
Be Safe
Shoot the Poets
I'm a Realist
Don't You Wanna Be Relevant?
You Were Always the One
Emasculate Me
You and I

(1:19:10)

Bonus:

Pointless/brilliant 2

Um, Liquid Swords reissue comes with chess board.  AMAZING.

Pointless/brilliant intersection 1

Machete sequel!

Featuring Mel Gibson, no less!

Could the first one have made a penny, even?  No matter!

Over it:

1. The purported "punkness" of the Gaslight Anthem.  No.  Also, "punky."  Unless said by Jim MacMahon in the "Superbowl Shuffle."

2. All "derechos."  It's a fucking squall line.

3. Marfa

4.  Whatever it is that bugs me about Kristen Stewart's face...also, she was called punky on the cover of  Vanity Fair in July.

5. "_____ is  a journey..."

6.  The girl pictured who shows up on style blogs a lot...she looks like she'd wear some powdery grandma perfume.  This is actually quite a good picture of her, so does not really do my gripes justice.

7.  Bloggers too lazy to get the right picture to illustrate a pointless "point."

There may be more later today.

Twenty years ago today

"Good" news, everyone

I just finished all the lyrics I needed for the show last week!

Again with the new Baroness

Am mining the Cribs catalogue again, but I realized that that new Baroness record is MY Fifty Shades of Grey.

Post IPO/Kickstarter,

will likely have a couple extra bucks to get one of these, which I love for some reason:

Actually, I think it's the little porthole window I like the most.

THIS again

Was reading how Facebook's IPO continues to be disappointing for all involved and have to say that, if the "Stop Nick Eddy Relents" money doesn't roll in soon, I'm still going ahead with the Nick Eddy Relents IPO.  I mean, is Facebook any more relevant/revered/important than my [no, our - yours and mine and the world's] blog you are reading right now? I should think not.

Anyway, to make the IPO more $$$-friendly, please join as a follower.  If you read this all the time but aren't officially a follower, that's cute, but if we're all going to be richer than Zuckerberg (sp?) we'll have to work harder.  Together.

Casting complete for "Entwhistle: The Musical"

Vote!

Need to get an answer on what this is - I assumed photoshop but some other parties say nay.

You vote.

Either way: what th'?

Sorta epic?

Real close to the Otter sweater from Animal House.  Need?  Sort of ?

Would be good of a Saturday morning.  Right?  RIGHT?

Happy birthday, Unky Po

Actually taken this morning for birthday verisimilitude

Hold that thought

Keep that Cribs best-of in your prayers, because I'm so far gone in the SICK new Baroness record I may not find my way out. 

Sweet of you to worry,

but the Cribs best-of compiling is going swimmingly.  It's going to turn out fine.