At last! The phone "app" (short for application, like on your computer) that will make me MILLION$$$

Okay, so we have a ceiling fan in the kitchen (3 speed) and one in the bedroom (5 speed). Powering these all the way down, when, in one's dotage, one doesn't remember which runs at which speed, is a pain in th' ass. I have actually spent more years than I have been alive standing there watching to see that the fan has stopped, or, worse, having it at the stopped chain-pull and anxiously, panickedly pulling the chain again on accident thus setting the entire horrific process in motion again (and we've only lived there two years)!

Okay, so, phone app: hold your phone up to the fan as if it were StarMaps. This app will tell you:

1. How many speeds are on that particular fan

2. What speed it's on now

3. How many tugs of the chain it will take to power it completely off

Plus! Most apps are about .99 or 2.99. This one will cost $30,000, and be a bargain at thirty times the price!