Stupid Three-Question Interview: Mary Fecteau

Miss Mary Fecteau shared an office with the Bride for a couple of years. She is a television producer and lives with her cat Edie "Purr" Fecteau.

1. As a transplant [originally from Rhode Island, "the Luxembourg of the Americas," Mary lost a full 80% of people she'd ever met in the Great White fire of whenever], what's the weirdest thing you've seen in D_____?

Two hours after my father and I arrived in town, we decided to walk around downtown and explore my new neighborhood. I believe we were over by Wimpy Burger when this fat kid with Down's syndrome walks toward us and yells "HEY BAABY HEY BAABY WASSUP???'

My dad and I were stunned. Then he said something like "Let's go ova to ma house and you kin make me sum breakfast."

I couldn't tell if he was talking to me or my dad. I think he was wearing a Bengals jersey [one team I'm certain is not in the Superbowl! - ed]. Every time I tell this story some smart ass always asks: "Well, did you make him breakfast?" No, I didn't. [not then, anyway - ed]

2. At what point did Steven Spielberg lose it?

I had to check IMDB to confirm this, but, to be completely honest, I haven't actually liked a Spielberg film since Jaws. It feels refreshing to admit that, but I'm pretty sure I've been pretending to like the Indiana Jones series since I was a toddler. But, for most people, I think the consensus would be he lost it before AI.

3. Suppose women grew facial hair in the same manner as men. What sort of facial hair would you like to try?

It's easier to imagine myself as a guy tahn to imagine a world where female facial hair is common and accepted. I'll have to reframe your question. I think, if I were a guy, I'd want to try a pencil mustache.

Thanks, Mary!