Scots

One of my brothers has been to Scotland; I have not. He's threatened to move there. He came back with an imitation of a thick Scots brogue: "We could go swimmin', but there's no luffgheets." No what? "Luffgheets!!"

Oh! Lifeguards.

Anyway, in that same spirit of thick Scottishness, I have finally gotten around to listening to the band Orange Juice, after 25 years. The singer was Edwyn Collins, of "Never Met a Girl Like You Before" 1995 fame. Long before he settled into the Bowie croon of that track, however, his gurning tunelessness kept me at bay for a long time. But I am happy to say that Orange Juice rules. Sweet, tight, spastic clever XTC-in-a-way sort of songs with funky 80s bass that stops just short of Level 42 slappiness, with soppy/clever lyrics throughout! Fun. Collins's obtrusive voice becomes part of the whole shebang over the course of an entire record, like a Scots Shane McGowan.

I tend to steer clear of most radio sessions and Peel sessions and the like because, like one Pat Bateman, I'm not crazy for live music. I like studio versions, the way God intended. But a new Belle and Sebastian release needs to be inspected (and, ha! Just realized I've still never checked out the live If You're Feeling Sinister thing, which proves a.) how much I dislike live albums and b.) I stick to my guns), and I can gladly attest that the unreleased tracks on this are stellar. All four of them. Critics will yearn for the early sloppy days after hearing this, as opposed to the in-the-pockety B&S of The Life Pursuit and the present. But this just underscores how the band have quietly pulled off The Beatles Trick of a Career of Two Halves: early days and late days. Plus the cover: Isobel in a child's wading pool in the studio? NONE MORE TWEE!