Had more hearty he-apes been around, we likely would not have been allowed to see as much Puppy Bowl:
And maybe not a lot of the Kitten Halftime show:
I will leave the national excoriation of the Peas to greater editorial talents than mine, but I must suggest that next year, as a collective palliative, there is only one option:
They can open with "I Don't Want to Play Football," for God's sake! This is a no-brainer.
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