"When was the last time a fan set YOU on fire?"

A challenge to our [?] readership: this coming weekend, get on youtube and watch a whole season of Footballers' Wive$.*

Then try to not cop the following lingual tics from the men and women thereon:


Men: mushmouth cockney, which will have you saying "Will you go wiv me to the grocery?"

Women: an over-affected Northern accent, as in "It's all going to be allreet!"


Also, just try not to realize that Tanya Turner, as played by the amazing Zoe Lucker, IS THE MOST POWERFUL WOMAN WHO EVER LIVED!

As I say, try this! And GOOD LUCK!

* Yes, the dollar sign is in the logo. But should not the l's be pound symbols? Or, hotter, should it not have started that way (pounds), andthen, by season 5 (2006), the "e" in Footballers' - should it not have been a euro symbol? And if I ever manage to break into some super-secret gubmint facility in the Adirondacks where time travel is being perfected, should I not go back in time and fix these errors, on behalf of YOU, the aggrieved?