"You wanted the best and you got two original dudes, a session drummer and Ace's old guitar tech!"

Here is the cover of the new only-at-Walmart KISS album!:

And here are the track titles, and what speculative early word says they may contain/be about:

1.) Modern Day Delilah - is Gene's sexy wig tech (there has to be one!) putting saltpeter in his oats, or is it just age?

2.) Russian Roulette - a metaphor for how every KISS fan is taking his/her life in their hands every time they buy any record post-1980! In SONG!

3.) Never Enough - A cover of the 1990 Cure song!

4.) Yes, I Know (Nobody's Perfect) - Gene makes it up to Shannon in this "I love you, babe" number. Cue strings!

5.) Stand - A hat-tip to those roadies who manage to get Gene'n'Paul upright every damn night! Excuse me, "nite!"

6.) Hot and Cold - Sample lyric: "Girl, your love goes hot and cold/rock and roll will never get old." Probably!

7.) All the Glory - You know, these guys have been at it since the early seventies, but all the glory is yours, the fans. You know it is! So hold your head high as you deliver that Papa John's!

8.) Danger Us - a think-piece of a number about how the erosion of personal freedom has lead to a realization that, in many ways, we have become our own worst enemies. With verse about the Rosenbergs!

9.) I'm An Animal - New "Ace" Tommy Thayer steps up and hits it out of the park with this mini-rock opera (tm) in four minutes and forty seconds, wherein he tells the whole story of Mark St John's brief tenure as New "Ace" circa the 80's KISS LP "Animalize." "Yeah, my hand's swelled awful big/but I got somethin' bigger..."

10.) When Lightning Strikes - new Catman Eric Singer (almost typed Eric Carmen!) does the "Beth" thing right with this show-stopping ballad with "boating safety" theme!

11). Say Yah - closest to my heart, the superstars finally address that whole "yeah = yes/yay! = hooray/yah = ja or 'yes' in German" issue that haunts my thoughts and dreams. I hear there's also a bonus track called "(Use Your Goddam) Turn Signal." Maybe not, but I can dream, and dream big, just like Gene, Paul and KISS!

Get out and get this Oct 6 at Walmart while you're buying your Dr Thunder and some lettuce!