Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Learn to be a SUNGLASSWRIGHT!

Having a rough time of it? Out of a job? Fancy yourself a craftsman?

I have the answer!

What the world needs is a return to one of itinerant travellers moving town to town, doing mild shit like sharpening knives and carving whistles from bamboo stalks growing at the sides of ponds...or, more to the point, we need bands of hearty characters roaming the countryside FIXING SUNGLASSES.

Just yesterday, my nifty pair of $10 shades from Banana Republic were slightly off kilter after being squashed, by me, absent-mindedly with my laptop bag (1. don't worry! I bought another pair at the same time for when one pair becomes irreparable, knowing I go through sunglasses like shit through a goose [?] and 2. I don't really carry a laptop in my bag, if you are hoping to break in my car and steal it, though it does have my 80 gig external hard drive full of rock, so I will shut my mouth right here)...part of the askew-ness stems from my giant, misshapen head, of course, but I have a terrible tendency to slightly bend on arm of sunglasses so that, ever after, one lens rides up ever so slightly - slightly enough, though, that people notice and walk away from me, repelled (I think it's the glasses, anyway).

But doesn't this happen to everyone?

What I mean to say is should there not be a genus of craftsperson who can look at bent shades, smile wryly and say "Sure, I can do that." Then put the glasses down on some workbench, like a horseshoe anvil type thing, or a wheelmaker's last, and then, maybe with a puff of steam rising up from some arcane process, carefully, inexpensively hone the injured frames back to a state of trueness?

You can't say there's not a crying need!

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