Things really could always be worse

Got up at 5:45 am this morning, thought I would do the dishes collected in the sink in advance of company tonight...promptly knocked over an empty Pellegrino bottle that was sitting on the counter which then dominoed into the blade of the food processor which then fell blade first into the top of my foot, so I am now a quarter of the way to full stigmata, which we had all presumed was coming anyway.

Seriously, I need to get my blood pressure checked because I must have lost a half-pound of blood.

Eventually, with pressure applied and elevation being kept, the blood stopped. Could use a couple of stitches, but it was just a nice slice at the wrong spot.

I, of course, let out a "Goddammit!" as it happened, but after that was just sort fascinated at the amount of the blood. It throbs now, but you know what? At least I'm not Pope Formosus:

Pope Stephen VI, the
successor of Boniface, influenced by Lambert and Agiltrude, sat in judgment of
Formosus in 897, in what was called the Cadaver Synod. The corpse
was disinterred, clad in papal vestments, and seated on a throne to face all the
charges from John VIII. The verdict was that the deceased had been unworthy of
the pontificate. All his measures and acts were annulled, and the orders
conferred by him were declared invalid. The papal vestments were torn from his
body, the three fingers from his right hand that he had used in consecrations
were cut off and the corpse was thrown into the Tiber (and later retrieved by a
monk).

So, yeah! No one is setting my corpse on a throne for a show trial! YET!

Also, speaking of thrones, check this Ethipoian emperor:

Execution of criminals in Ethiopia under Emperor Menelike made missionaries
wince. Each leg of a condemned man was attached to one of two saplings growing
near each other and bound together. When the saplings would be cut loose, they
would spring away from each other, and tear the victim apart.The missionaries
had long talks with Menelike (who preceded Haile Selassie as emperior) in which
they told him about the electric chair. They told the emperor of the ease and
smoothness with which it dispatched those condemned to die.Intrigued by their
descriptions, the dark-skinned ruler ordered an electric chair delivered from
the United States. When it arrived, Emperor Menelike was delighted and couldn't
wait to "try it out." But, suddendly, it dawned on the missionaries that it
could never be used in Ethiopia. The country didn't have any electricity!Emperor
Menelike was a bit disappointed by this turn of events. But not too much. Still
enchanted by the electric chair, he proceded to use it as his throne!